I heard we made out
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
