4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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