i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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