I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
