Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
