apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
