Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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