Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
