i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
