I'm pants shitting drunk right now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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