He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
