wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
