My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
