I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
