adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
