okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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