Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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