just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
