this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
