and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Congratulations! We have a period
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize