I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
