i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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