This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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