You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
