just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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