Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
