"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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