hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thank you for not boning my boss.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
