That's intense
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
