Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
