Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
