No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
