I can't watch pbs sober anymore
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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