she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
