I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
