I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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