We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
