I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
