He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
