So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Quick, to the slutcave!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize