he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
