I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
