the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
