Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
