She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
