You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wear drunk well.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
