Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
