Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
