How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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