I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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