I wish my penis had an off switch
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
