lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize