just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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