She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
PANTIES FOUND
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