I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
