Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
