I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
