so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
