I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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