then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
