I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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