How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
