i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize