i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
