omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize