I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We left the knife in your bed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
