Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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